


Mary Sue Me

by Skeren



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Gen, Self-Insert, Totally me filling a crack request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-23 02:35:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6101977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeren/pseuds/Skeren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A normal girl gets stuck in a place she really didn't expect. Namely, Amestris.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written March of 2005.
> 
> I never did get past two parts, though I had a veritable horde of friends trying to get me to write more. I'm still not totally sure WHY.

She cracked her eyes open, then peered around with a somewhat unhappy look. She was almost completely certain that the last thing she remembered was closing her eyes away from the sun at that light near the highway. This did not explain why she was outside. In fact, she was pretty sure she was missing class right this moment.

A cautious glance revealed no cars, streetlights, or gas stations anywhere nearby. Her backpack was gone. Not that it had anything neat in it anyway, but she hadn’t gotten around to putting some of her pens in her pockets. To that effect, well, she wasn’t even sure she had any pockets on her clothes today. She’d been half-asleep when she’d gotten dressed. Fact one, it was black, fact two, she’d apparently not lost anything attached to her person. 

She pushed up to her feet, seeing nothing but trees, then hills, and pretty much nothing. Okay, _now_ she wished she had her backpack on her, she didn’t have her plant survival cards on her and she had _no_ clue what was edible about most of this stuff. Not that she was thinking about trying… Surely there had to be people? She wasn’t back in Oklahoma was she?

A shudder worked down her spine with that and she started to walk, rather grateful she’d gone the geekier route that morning as she palmed her pocket watch in one hand, the other making sure her ID and all her altoid boxes were still in her coat pocket. Yep, all three still there, with her oh so glorious plethora of change. Maybe she could call her dad? Of course, that would require finding a phone… or people… or just about anything. 

It didn’t help it was dark out. After her self-evaluation, she sort of paused, wondering why she didn’t hurt anywhere. Just how long has she been out anyway? She knew there was a reason she had been trying to get her dad to move back home, and crap like this was it. It would just be her luck to have gotten an iffy kidnapper.

Picking a random direction, she started walking. She was thanking every being on the planet it was night, or she would have had a sunburn by the time she saw light ahead. Or was that sunrise? Either way, didn’t matter, she was tired of picking her way over rocks. And her vest wasn’t made for exercise. But it kept her zipper on her favorite shirt from eating her braid, so she was screwed. 

Glancing at the back of her left hand, she itched to redo the drawings up the back of it. She’d gone for geometric ones in class the night before. They were a bit faded now, but the series of circles with five, six, and eight-pointed stars were at least presentable. Straightening her glasses a little, she told herself this was what happened when she put off her math. She was going to do it in class again.

Right, not at all a useful thought. Moving forward to the farmhouse, she ignored the nagging sensation she’d seen it before. After all, she’d seen plenty of houses in the last five years. Of course, when she saw one very big, muscular man stepping out of the house, she had second thoughts about approaching. Deciding it was better to be safe than sorry, she hunted up a branch before approaching again. 

Plans were going just as she’d hoped they would so far. As in, getting into the house and begging something that wasn’t an altoid off the owners of the house along with use of the phone. She nearly hurt herself upon realizing there were two more people out there with muscle man. One was in armor, no biggie, she had been to plenty of SCA events. It was probably someone who was into all that that lived here. That meant her stick wouldn’t do much good though… Better to keep it anyway.

Of course, when she got a close enough chance to see the little guy of the group, she had to sit down. She was sure they’d seen her, but her eyes were pinned on the metal arm the boy was sporting. Apparently he hadn’t finished getting dressed yet since he was shrugging on a black over shirt. 

She only distantly heard the armored boy alert the other two to her presence before she decided this just had to be another of her twisted dreams. “Brother! Something’s wrong with that girl!” 

Yes, just another really twisted dream. Had to be. She stared up at the pair of brothers with wide eyes, peering over her glasses through her bangs. “You know, I think this has to be one of the weirder dreams I’ve had in a while.”


	2. Chapter 2

It took Armstrong to get her back down to reality. He was giving her this quietly considering look from the right. It reminded her that even if this was a dream, her dreams tended to run towards the very… bizarre side. Up came the stick. 

“Miss? You don’t need to worry, we won’t hurt you.” It was Alphonse who spoke, though her gaze was really just fixed on Armstrong at the moment. 

“Kinda figured, You would have knocked me out already if you were gonna, right?” She waggled the stick in the air, looking back to Alphonse again, some of her shock wearing away. She was a genius, she could get over seeing anime characters in person, so _help_ her. “Right…”

How she wished she had a purse now. She mournfully thought of the rocks in the bottom of it. She’d always wondered if she could put enough force into the thing to knock someone out… Edward cut across her thoughts, drawing her undivided attention. The stick continued to be waved in Armstrong’s direction.

“Okay lady, who are you? This isn’t any dream, and would you quit that?” He reached to take her stick, and earned himself some stinging fingers for his trouble when she smacked him with it.

“No. I haven’t got a single decent weapon here, and no offense, but I’m keeping the stick. Who _knows_ how many of my theories are right about you people.” She moved back, crab walking a bit before getting to her feet, feeling oddly satisfied that she was now looking down on the short alchemist. She really hated her soft spot for short people sometimes.

Edward looked a bit disturbed, but he didn’t get to say anything when Armstrong decided it was his turn to speak up, cutting off both the brothers. “Miss, I think you should tell us who you are now.” 

“Er…” Real name? It was on her ID in her pocket, and if they looked they’d catch her out anyway. “Sky. Nobody can say my name right anyway, so just Sky.” She shook her head a little.

“Right, Miss Sky then.” Alphonse nodded a little. “Well, I’m Alphonse Elric, and this is my-”

At which point she cut in. “Your brother Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist, and that is Alex Armstrong, he who sparkles like a maniac. Yes, I’ve heard of all of you. If you are going to be leaving, could you take me with you? I’ve been wandering out here all night and I’m really hungry. Erm, besides, judging from those looks you wanna know what the hell I meant with the theory thing don’t you?” 

Sometimes she wondered why she had to babble in tense situations, it really only made them worse.


End file.
